lucas

I've been enjoying time with this little human an extra amount lately. He's pretty cool I have to say. Ever since I started homeschooling him I've felt closer to him. I don't regret the decision to homeschool him one bit. He's clever and he keeps things light-hearted when times are not so light. He's a light. And.....a super hero! I took him to play today....how in the world does he get so dirty!? he was flying over head....Ahhhhh!

thankful.

I start this blog right now sitting in my room at my computer desk, listening to the sounds of my little home. I am thankful for all of these sounds and voices even though at times I feel as though my head could explode from all of the noise...it's late and Brenna just got home from work and now everyone is home and everyone is still awake. I hear a banjo being played by Corbin in one of the bedrooms, I hear Brenna giving Dominic exact directions on what to do with the things on the ledge that need to be taken downstairs, one of which is a bag of cat poop from the literbox that Brenna just cleaned out. Dominic walked by and asked me if I wanted some "dung" No thank-you Dom, I'm good in the dung department, but thank-you and I hear Lucas coming up the stairs singing the lyrics..."bury my heart next to yours...." lyrics from a Mumford and Sons song. I look up and see Alyssa's happy smiling face and am both torn because shes not here but so grateful for all five of them. I am grateful for each of their faces and hearts, I am thankful that God blessed me with 5 truly creative, passionate and artful souls. Where will their paths take them? My heart is torn tonight, another holiday without Alyssa. That always sounds so final but its a reality that I am faced with at the arrival of each holiday on the calendar. I miss my girl so much, I miss her ability to keep the peace. I miss her sweet voice and the past couple of days when Brenna has been talking to me, I have heard Alyssa SO much in her voice, it's crazy. Tonight I reflect on what's happened since last year at this time and will forever try to take from it lessons and a gratefulness for the time that I do get to have with my family, with all of their perfect imperfections.

 I actually did a session this morning with my own kids! Amazing! Those will come soon!

October weekend.

I did something that I haven't done practically since I got my iphone which has been ages..and that was to take my camera out of its bag and just set it on my desk and try using it on my own family and life. I was looking thru my Flickr account and forgot how often I used to take just every day pictures of my own family, I need to get back into that ritual, less iPhone, more real. I guess if I wanted to be even more "real" I would get a film camera, but hey, baby steps. Here is a tiny bit of my weekend, actually a very tiny bit.

 

This would be Corbin, he's very funny about me taking pictures of him and I tried sneaking some of him while he was in my room playing the guitar and he caught me so he did this. Yah. nice. Thankyou Corbin.

   

 me. looking a little not so joyous. maybe sometimes I dont want to look joyous?

 

but then its ok because shortly after that I felt very joyous laying next to my little Lukie.

some oldies.