voice in the wind.

So let's just clear the air right now and verify that I do indeed suck at keeping up with a blog.
I try and try and always have so much to say but that always requires me to actually sit down and
take the time to get all of those thoughts out of my head and onto here. Not so easy. I should really just scrap it and go back to a journal, a real life paper to pen experience....nah.

So.

I really wanted to talk about the dream that I had about Alyssa the other night. While it was still fresh
in my memories. I've had quite a few dreams about her the past few months and the one the other night
was one of those "felt so real" ones. I love those. When those come, I feel as though I really was with her, like she really was just sharing the same space with me. The dream was random but it all made sense as it was happening. Alyssa and I were sitting at a cafe somewhere, it was somewhere really busy because I remember people walking all over the place, rushing, talking, having coffee. She was sitting at the little table with me outside of the cafe and I knew that she was gone, yet she was sitting there right in front of my face. I asked her how is that she gets to be around me all the time? She told me that she can come around whenever I want her to be there, she told me that only I could see her. At that moment I remember feeling really sad and told her that she didnt have to feel as though she had to stay and sit around with me just to make me feel better, I remember saying, plus people are going to think Im a nutter sitting here talking to "myself" all the time. She told me it wasnt like that, that noone would notice me talking to "myself" I just felt really bad though thinking that she felt like she had to stay close to me so that I wouldn't be sad, but I remember in my dream feeling like I didn't want to resist her being around too much because I was afraid that in saying that...she would leave and not come back to visit me. She looked so cute. She had her legs kicked over the arm of her chair and her hair was up, I just remember I kept thinking...she looks french and she didn't have a care in the world and she was content.

I'll be back.