Shadow of the Day....

So, that is what I am listening to while I type... Linkin Park...I've always liked them, even when they were one of the only screaming meme bands..I alway admired the fact that Chester Bennington could scream his lungs out, and then chill and sing a lovely tune..which...he is doing in this song..its sweet. Simple. I like.

I should so be in bed by now..but I just got done getting my website worked on and finished so that I can start directing people to it once again ....Yah!! Stoked about that! It is the simple things you know?

Today...A made me laugh a couple of times with her sarcasm...C melted my heart when he walked in the door from school..just because..he just does that...D gave me hugs and talked to me all the way to his school this morning, like he always does.....B gave me a dragonfly tattoo on my arm while we watched The Bachelor and decided which girl we think he should pick..and Buca..just ahhhh...babies...all he has to do is say "mama" and Im hooked. I am very thankful and happy that everyone in my family is healthy...

This week has been already filled with news of family members finding out things aren't so great.

I found out that my oldest sister has Parkinsons, and my sister in law has Lupus. That...just tears at my heart.

Sometimes goodbyes the only way...and the sun will set for you, the sun will set for you...

and the shadow of the day will embrace the world in grey..and the sun will set for you...

And the shadow of the day, will embrace the world in grey...and the sun will set for you...will set for you...

I am hopeful, thankful, and just closing my eyes... taking in a deep breath and loving.

The Daddy wants to write a book...I think he should..he found out this week that his grandma isnt doing so good after the fall she took last month..he said his Dad cried..that kills me..I hate when Daddys cry...I hate when men cry...not because I dont think they should show a softer side...but just...it breaks my heart an extra amount when I see a man cry... and if I am the one who causes the cry...well forget it..that is ten times worse!

I saw Dan in Real Life this past weekend..and that...made me cry. Again..to see a man sad...and broken..and dissed..makes me saddy..dont get me wrong...sometimes I diss, cause tears and break....but..I dont mean to..and Im always sorry as soon as I do it..

Life is too short to hold grudges and cause people to hurt...

I wish that people who are supposed to be close to me..would just let go...put their hands in the middle of the circle with me...promise one another to do better, to love better, to forgive better, say "1,2,3" and break..throw our arms up in the air..and let them fall back down into one huge embrace with eachother..

But....

I dont know.

I find myself envying families who are close..how sad is that? Shouldnt I be happy for them? Yes, I suppose I should...but...it's hard...because I want that..I miss siblings.. drama is so stupid..and hurtful.

I think for right now... thats all :)

Give someone something today that they arent expecting..even if its a wink..or a hand carrying something..or a quick..how are you..and when you ask it...stay around for the response...and actually listen....

And the sun will set on you...