{I know that girl}

Today I sat here thinking about time. How quickly it sneaks away from us, even while
we are sitting there thinking of how time flys it flees from us.
It's almost been 3 months since my sister Krista passed away.
I have never lost someone that close to me in life and I think that it really did a number
on me.
I have layed there so many nights since she passed wishing for just a few more
minutes with her, a few seconds to right some wrongs, enough time to say, "I love you"
All of my options with my sister Krista, left the day that she died.
The chance to see her, a possible meet up for lunch, maybe a quick phone call to let
her know that I love her....are all gone, they are no more. I will never get those chances
back again, and while I had them, I never used them.
I find myself talking to her in my head sometimes, while I'm out driving, if I am in Target
sometimes, if the weather is really hot, or it starts to feel chilly, I wonder what it feels
like up on the little hill where she is buried. Is there a breeze? Does she know what a
nice view she has of the little town that she lived in and built so many memories in, where
she met her sweet husband Joe, where she gave birth to her sweet triple D's {Daniel, David & Danica},
Where she went to church, on Ash St. and where she and Joe ran one of the bus routes on Sunday
mornings. Does she know how many people she touched with her ability to remember every single
birthday and anniversary of everyone in her life?
She was hit by a car when she was 9 years old, actually it was a van full of kids skipping school.
It happened in Rancho Bernardo, she and my brother were riding their bikes to our aunts house
and Krista thought it was safe to cross the street.
It was there in the waiting room, holding vigils for my sister Krista that my mom found a friend in
Jesus. If I remember correctly there was an older man who shared God's love with my mom during
that time. Krista was in a coma healing, while my mom was in a waiting room making the steps towards
God and putting her faith in Him that over time, ended up healing our whole family. Tears flowed from
my mom...I am sure of it.
After she came out of her coma, the Dr basically told my parents that Krista would probably not live
a very productive life, she would have struggles, that she probably shouldn't have children and
sent them on their way.
Krista ended going way over the mark for what was expected of her, my mom always said that the Dr
who treated her kept her file on his desk to show to other parents whos children had been declared,
"mentally disabled" She surprised everyone.
Fast Forward to May 17th 2010
There again, lay my sister Krista, and there again sat my mom, only this time, it was to say, "Goodbye"
This time was different, this time, Krista wasn't waking up, and this time, my mom didn't quite realize what
was going on. My mom has Alzheimers. This time, she sat there, humming, smiling, talking to
the people around her, completely unaware I think of what was really going on. She would look over at
Krista, laying so perfectly in her casket. I couldn't help but be sad for my mom at that moment, for a
mother to have to say goodbye to her child must be so terribly hard, I felt sad for her in thinking that
48 years ago, she was there in mind, body and soul when Krista breathed her first little breaths of air,
she agonised and pushed Krista into this world and I imagine felt such joy in seeing the little body who
bumped and poked around inside of her for 9 months, I am sure the tears flowed.
But then...the day that Krista was buried, the day for all of us to say our goodbyes to her, I looked at my
mom...and there were no tears, she didn't understand, she sat in the front row and looked over at Krista
as if she were a complete stranger, Alzhiemers is such a bastard.
Then it happened, it seriously was as if God gave that few seconds of sound mind to my mom, allowing her
to grieve the passing of her sweet Krissy Sue. My mom looked up towards Krista, and just started crying.
She pointed at her and said, "I know that girl....I know her" She remembered. The tears flowed.
And my mom remembered, she was a mommy.

I miss my sister and I miss my mom.

{this is Krista and Joe after they got home from their Honeymoon}