.i got nothing.

Really, I don't have much to say. Not much positive stuff to say anyways.
Im afraid I'm in the dumps as of late. I really don't have much reason
to be but I just am. I feel guilty for moaning about one single thing, really
I do. I am surrounded in the "online world" with friends and aquaitances who
are all going thru such struggles right now, losses, mourning and I here I
sit, having not lost a newborn baby, or a brother, or a cousin, I don't
have a nephew or cousin who is only just 4 sitting in the hospital with a brand
new implanted pacemaker and little legs that don't want to work, I think maybe
there has just been so much sadness around lately that I start taking on
the sadness and the hurt these people must be feeling and I empathize with
them and my heart starts feeling so heavy.
I think it is really just so easy to go on with our days and when things
are going well, its so easy to forget just how lucky we are, just how blessed
we are to even have a chance to get to live out another day.
I think every single day I log on to Facebook, something terrible has happened
in someones life, and again, my heart crys.
Tonight...a brother of a friend, a father of two sweet little kiddos, a husband
to a wife he told was so beautiful she was making the beautiful sunset behind
her in the photo look "eh, not that great" He loved and was loved. I don't
even know this man, I just know that a prayer request was sent out yesterday
for him, and tonight, he was called home. So I sat, looked, read, thought of his
loved ones left behind and thought how fast everything can change, in a snap.
What is this life that we are given for? I don't want to just exsist, I don't
want to just go thru the motions, Draw me nearer.
Im asking for everyone to just enjoy the moments, enjoy the chaos, enjoy your
families, and savor it.
If you are a praying person, pray for that little boy in the hospital, pray
for the husband whos lost his wife a couple of days after their first baby
was born, pray for the family who lost their sweet little boy 8 weeks after he
was born, pray for one of my clients father who is sick and found out about it
right before her wedding, pray for a friend who lost her father almost a year ago,
pray for a beautiful woman, who was burned in a plane crash that she survived
with her dear sweet husband, she struggles daily to do so many things that we take
for grantide, pray for a woman whos blog I read, who is young, her husband is young, yet suffered a stroke in his sleep and is now struggling thru all of the things
that come with having a stroke, pray for every single soul in Haiti, they are
still finding people alive, isnt that crazy!!??
All of those children, so many little hearts turned into orphans that dreaded
day. Pray those people find peace, peace of mind, body and soul, I can't even
begine to imagine the mental torture so many of those people will endure.
My heart breaks.
Pray for my mom. There is a much deeper break there in my heart where she is
concerned. I don't even know if it's an ache I feel or more of just a giant
hole there, where my mom is supposed to be. I miss her...I miss her badly. I just
wish that deep down, amidst all that the alzheimers has taken away from her...
I wish she remembered me.
So much for having nothing at the beginning of this.
I guess I fixed that.
A friend of mine posted a question the other day on Facebook. It said,
"Why do people blog? Is it for them, or for us"?
I think both Heather...it's theraputic, it's a way to give someone a little
peek into your reality, your thoughts and feelings, a way to share and to
recieve. I get something every single day from blogs that I read. I always end
up feeling though I was taught something, admired someone, felt someones pain,
laughed with them.
Yah, I'd say both.

xo