{ Dear sweet blog }

Hello.
Long time no talk.
It seems like so many of my blog post start with that phrase,
"Long time no talk" Things have been nonstop go go go here
in our household. We have been in the moving process for what
seems like forever, moving is never easy, I dont care if its
across town or across country. Just all of the packing, unpacking,
truck rentals, rehooking up things, getting the kids enrolled in
new schools, it's madness. I think we are finally done, apart from
the unpacking of the boxes that are still piled inside of the garage.
Good thing we have a two car garage!
So we are living in Escondido now, the town that I consider to be,
"Where I grew up". Its the place I lived when my life was the happiest
when I was a child. Everytime I have to drive somewhere in town, its
memory after memory, everywhere I go. In so many ways I love that, but
in some ways, it makes me sad because those days are long gone, I have
with me though all of the lovely memories.
I drove down Farr St. The road we lived in just down the street from our
church and my christian school I went to...I remembered our house, with
the amazing yard, where I had my rabbits, where Niki, Sofia and Synthia
and myself would sit in our garage that was done up like a living room
and we would watch movies, I drove down the road that we used to walk
to school and puddle jump on the way home from school, where we would
be greeted by Mrs A with fresh hot tortillas and butter. Oh were those
days the best. Living nextdoor to the Apodacas, laughing, going to the
swapmeet on Saturday mornings, just always laughing, thats what I remember
the most...as I drove down Farr, thinking of all of these things, I was
saddened to see that where our two homes sat, ours and the Apodacas, was
now an elementary school and a parking lot. Gone are our houses, gone
is the garage, gone is my beautiful yard that was like a park, gone is
my moms garden where she would grow the biggest zuccinni in the world and
make the best bread out of it, all of it..gone.
Some things remain though, I can drive down Quincy and see the entrance to
the swapmeet that is still there, open on the weekends, same time, same place.
I drove past the Swapmeet the other day with Dominic in the car, and he said, "Isnt
that the place that you went to with Grandma every Saturday morning?" I said,"Yes"
and he said, "Its sad that Grandma doesnt remember you" and I told him that it's
not her fault, and that she has Alzheimers and its a disease that just slowly robs
people of their memories, thoughts, etc, and that she couldn't help it, and he
proceeded to say, "Ohhhh, does Grandpa have Alzheimers too then because he always
forgets you?"
How sad is that?
I almost started crying but I didn't want to in front of Dominic and I didnt want
him to think that he had said something to make me cry.
It is however sad that my children notice and realise that there is a definete
"hole" there in my life where there should be parents.
I love my kids to pieces and I would never ever want them to be left feeling
how my Dad has left me feeling. I don't think I'll ever understand him.
Now Im off to run some errands, driving around Escondido, where I am sure another
memory will be triggered and Ill either be happy or sad about that.

xo